Feeling Overstimulated and Overwhelmed?
Woman feeling overwhelmed | photo by @simran01_fashionphotography—unsplash
This post was originally published in my newsletter.
Do you get easily overwhelmed by having to make decisions, or projects that involve lots of steps? Or maybe looking ahead to a future event and everything that needs to happen between now and then feels impossible?
For me, recipes with too many ingredients and complicated directions make my head spin. And crochet patterns with unclear abbreviations and stitches make me want to give up before I even start. Or if I’m trying to learn a new skill and the person teaching it is going too fast. All of these activate my parts that get easily overwhelmed.
When I remember what it was like before I fully understood those feelings, I can still feel the panic rising and my sensitive parts screaming, “It’s to much! I’ll never get it! It’s too hard!”
That voice sounds so much like the younger me when I was overwhelmed in school. I have vivid memories of eighth grade, Algebra One. Mr. Wilson at the front of the room teaching, and the concepts just skimming across the top of my brain. The new information never settling in enough to understand any of it. I can still feel the sense of being alone in it. Feeling like there wasn’t anyone who could help. I felt lost.
My dad would try to help, when prompted by my mom, but he’d break out the slide rule—something I had no concept of how to use—and I’d feel even more overwhelmed. And FYI, I still don’t know what a slide rule is or how it’s used!
I didn’t know then that I was highly sensitive. So of course, I had no idea that I needed to take it slow. To break the steps down and fully understand step one before moving on to the next.
If you have highly sensitive parts feeling easily overwhelmed is pretty common. And because our overwhelmed parts don’t leave any space to slow things down it’s hard to get past the frustration.
Your parts are too busy fighting, fleeing, or freezing—a natural nervous system response when we feel threatened. And that activates your inner critic, your procrastinator, and your avoidant parts.
And those parts don’t want you to feel lost, or sad, or scared. They want those feelings to go away. So, they do everything in their power to try to “help.” And although criticizing, putting things off, or avoiding altogether might not seem like help, they get you feeling something other than the pain.
But when you take the time to understand what’s happening inside, you can create space for deeper processing and healing. Because being highly sensitive isn’t a death knell. It’s a beautiful set of traits that make you a compassionate, deep feeling human. And when you can embrace your sensitivities with kindness and understanding it makes life so much easier.
I got the help I needed back then and went on to really enjoy school and math! But my overwhelmed parts continued to struggle, because I didn’t have the skills and awareness for taking care of me and my sensitivities.
The good news is, if you know you’re sensitive and you get easily overwhelmed you can work with your parts and find equilibrium. Learn tools to help you take in new things at a pace that suits you. Limit your expectations—you don’t have to get it right away. And you can build in self-care and compassion practices for those moments when your body wants to scream, “It’s Too Much! I can’t do it!”
You’ve got this.
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Elizabeth Cush is a women’s life coach, a therapist, and the creator and host of the Woman Worriers and Awaken Your Wise Woman podcasts. She’s also the founder of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and has been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps women reduce stress and anxiety and live with more authenticity, ease and purpose. Click here if you'd like to know more about working with Elizabeth.