Shameless in 2022
Shining a light on our shame | photo by @joshboot—unsplash
This blog was adapted from my newsletter
My New Year Intention to Release Shame
Although I don’t go in for new year’s resolutions, I do like to think about the year behind us and the one ahead. And sometimes there are things that stick out, or themes that I like to carry forward.
When surveying the past year, I decided that for 2022 I’m looking to bring more awareness to how often shame influences my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
It’s something I’ve worked on for a very long time, especially over the last year. My awareness has deepened, and I realize my shaming part shows up for me a lot.
A. Lot. In the big and small spaces of my life.
For me, shame feels like a big fuzzy dust bunny that hangs out in the shadows. When it shows up, it’s heavy and it weighs me down. It makes me want to hide and keep those difficult feelings I have about myself hidden from everyone. Especially from myself.
When Shame Shows Up
💔 My shaming part shows up when I’m feeling anxious. Because I’m a therapist who specializes in helping my clients with anxiety, it believes I should NEVER be anxious. And definitely never share my anxious feeling with others.
💔 And it shows up when I feel like I’m disappointing my family or friends. It thinks I should always go along to get along because if I don’t, I’m a problem.
💔 More recently, it showed up when I realized that after all my hard work on developing a coaching business last year, I didn’t have the mental or physical capacity to bring on new coaching clients. The shaming part believes that because I didn’t work harder on building up the new business that I’m a failure, or worse a fake.
I know there are lots of other places that it creeps or jumps in, but you get the idea.
Taking Shame Out of the Dark
So, I’ve decided that 2022 is the year for emptying the closets, dusting the hidden corners, and shining some light into the darkness where shame likes to live. I started this process in 2021, but I’m sharing the idea more publicly—here and on the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast—because I’m ready for my relationship with my shaming part to change.
Our shame lessens, and its power diminishes when we bring it into the light. When we explore the fears that lie behind the shame, it gives us a chance to see our shame with a little more compassion. And as we share our pain and our feelings of shame with the people we trust, it lightens. We’re no longer carrying the burden alone.
And when we take our shaming part out of the dark, its load also lightens. It no longer carries those feelings alone. By bringing shame into the light, we’re healing the wounds and burdens that it thought were too deep and painful for us to bear. And that—healing old wounds—makes space for our intuition and our wisest self to grow and bloom.
If you’d like some space to explore how your shaming part is keeping you stuck, and you’re ready to move forward I’d love to work with you.
If you’d like to share your story around your shaming part with others—sounds terrible I know, but it’s so healing— contact me here. You can remain anonymous if you’d like. I’ll share the stories of shame and healing in future newsletters.
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Elizabeth Cush is a women’s life coach, a therapist, and the creator and host of the Woman Worriers and Awaken Your Wise Woman podcasts. She’s also the founder of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and has been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps women bring forth their inner gifts and live with more authenticity, ease and purpose. Click here if you'd like to know more about working with Elizabeth.
Photo by @iankeefe—Unsplash