Biz's BLOGFor Sensitive Wise Women
Resources and inspiration from Elizabeth Cush
People Pleasing and Perfectionism
If you were raised in a family that didn’t know and understand HSPs, the messages you often heard were to shut down or control your feelings, control the over-stimulation and overwhelm, don’t be so sensitive. But you are sensitive! It’s an integral part of who you are, and it’s not something that needs “fixing!”
High Sensitivity, Meditation, and Mindfulness
I needed tools to help me slow down, listen, to turn inward. That’s where mindfulness and meditation come in.
Caring for the Caregiver
Taking care of your nervous system — taking care of yourself while you care for others — is important.
Spiraling: In A Good Way
What if instead of getting caught up in distress of the experience, we start to notice each time we come back to that worry or devalued sense of worth. Like the spiral in my picture above of the horseshoe crab.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Those long-heard messages around being tough, not wallowing in your feelings, and moving on, have deep roots. So, doing things differently—giving myself care and kindness—takes a lot of practice. And can feel just as uncomfortable as the memories and feelings of trauma.
Life on Repeat
And each time you fall back into old patterns, behaviors, or ways of being you might wonder if this will ever end. You might be asking yourself, “Will there be a time when I don’t make the same mistakes, or think the same things, or do the same things?” Will I ever fully heal?”
Managing Transitions in Midlife
What might change if you could see the parts of you that frustrate, shame, or embarrass you as your inner child or infant? And if you knew that they were responding to stress from their childhood experiences, how would that change your relationship with those parts.
My Experience With IFS—internal Family Systems
The most basic assumption of IFS is that we all have parts. We are a system of parts that sometimes work well together and sometimes not so much. And at the core of our being we all have a Self. The loving, caring, compassionate, creative, curious Self.
Shameless in 2022
Our shame lessens, and its power diminishes when we bring it into the light. When we explore the fears that lie behind the shame, it gives us a chance to see our shame with a little more compassion. And as we share our pain and our feelings of shame with the people we trust, it lightens. We’re no longer carrying the burden alone.
Moving Through Self-Doubt, Imposter Syndrome and Shame
I like to imagine the Imposter like the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz. When Toto pulls back the curtain and he’s frantically pushing buttons for the sound, smoke and light effects, and he says, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”
Just like the Wizard, the Imposter makes you feel like you need to make a dazzling light show or a smoke screen to distract everyone’s attention away from you, because although you might look like you have it altogether, you really are a poser and at any moment everyone will find out.
The Hidden Magic of Halloween
Halloween is fast approaching! For me, Halloween has always been a sign of fall, cooler weather, and the beginning of the holiday season.
Dressing up, wearing costumes, play acting, and improvising give us a chance to try on and inhabit the different parts of ourselves that we might feel uncomfortable exploring in our everyday life.
Sea Changes: Learning to Go with the Flow
Change is hard, especially when it’s abrupt. And change is also beautiful. It allows us to grow, to step beyond our comfort zone and move in new directions.
I recently watched a program about music in the year 1971. The episode focused on Carole King. The narrator described her as the “sea change” for female singer/songwriters. The show noted that King opened up space for more women to be recognized, to step into their power and reach a place on the Billboard Top 40 charts.
King’s decision not just to sell her music for others to perform, but to showcase herself along with her songs, must have been hard in such a male-dominated field. I imagine it took a lot of courage.
That phrase, “sea change” stuck with me.
Creating Space for Your Dreams
How often do you take the time to follow a dream—either a daydream or your remembered dream when you wake up?
How often do you let yourself be creative, have truly free time, or read a book because you want to?
Let’s Stand Fully in Our Self Worth
Has a part of you ever felt like you’re a fraud or not truly worthy of the respect or admiration that others give you? Do you shrug off compliments because it’s hard to receive them?
Can you change your relationship with your inner critic?
What if we could do things differently? What if we could change our relationship with ourselves, and make it a habit to be kinder, gentler, more fiercely protective of ourselves?
