Being Highly Sensitive is a Gift
sensitive | photo by @hypethat—unsplash
This was originally published in my newsletter.
I’m a highly sensitive woman. And for a long time, I thought my sensitivity was just something unique about me. More of a problem than anything else. For years I attributed my high sensitivity to my anxiety. And I didn’t have a lot of compassion for when I felt overwhelmed or stressed out. I felt that I was the “problem.”
Did you know that 15-20% of people are highly sensitive people (HSPs)?
It was only recently—maybe 5 years ago—that I learned that high sensitivity is a trait, something we’re born with! Hearing that made me want to learn more about it, instead of trying to “fix myself.”
As a child—many, many years ago—high sensitivity wasn’t researched or understood. And fully understanding my own sensitivities has helped me be kinder and more compassionate with myself.
Here are some of the characteristics of HSPs:
You deeply process information and ideas
You get easily overstimulated by sensory information
You’re emotionally reactive and feel things very deeply
You’re very sensitive to subtle stimuli like color, light, textures
Growing up I was very sensitive to noises, colors, fabric textures, and crowded places. I thought (and was told) that I was too finicky, too emotional, too sensitive. I often felt like I was too much. That I was the problem and I needed to change.
I have very clear memories of the uncomfortable feeling of scratchy fabrics. It was as if I could feel every fiber of the fabric poking me wherever it touched my skin. Wool, starched cotton, ruff stitching were unbearable. And as a kid the only way I knew how to express my discomfort was to complain, or whine, or cry.
As an adult—and as a kid too—large amounts of information are extremely hard to manage. For instance, being in a training, or learning a new skill, I need small bites of information. They’ve got to be easily digestible or absorbed before I move on to the next bite.
If information comes at me all at once, or too fast, parts of me get frustrated, overwhelmed, and want to push it all away. I can feel a childlike part that wants to give up altogether. Who wants to cry because she thinks she’ll never get it.
But when I can learn take in information at a pace that suits me, I love learning!
And that’s the point I’m trying to make. When we can embody and embrace our highly sensitive parts, it’s easy to see them as a gift.
The gifts of HSPs:
You feel things deeply
You’re empathetic and caring
You feel connected to nature and animals
You’re thoughtful
You’re intuitive and creative
Yes, it might have been hard when you were a child.
But listening to those parts when you need space, or time alone, taking care of your needs with kindness and compassion, allows you to thrive in a world that was designed for the other 80% of the population.
Here’s what I’ve learned…
You find the gifts within you when:
you listen to your own needs, instead of judge yourself for having them.
you honor sensitivity as a trait, and a valuable part of you.
you take care of yourself when you’re overwhelmed and needing downtime.
Each person experiences high sensitivity in their own unique ways, and if any of this resonates with you I hope you’ll explore your gift of being highly sensitive.
Wondering if you’re and HSP?
Here are a couple of resources to get you started:
Elizabeth Cush is a women’s life coach, a therapist, and the creator and host of the Woman Worriers and Awaken Your Wise Woman podcasts. She’s also the founder of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and has been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps women reduce stress and anxiety and live with more authenticity, ease and purpose. Click here if you'd like to know more about working with Elizabeth.