When Empathy is Your Kryptonite
Mom and kids | photo by @courtneymcook—unsplash
This was originally published in my newsletter.
Many helpers, healers, and intuitives are highly sensitive empaths—I’ll use the descriptive “helper” going forward. We take in and feel other’s emotions deeply. We’re very attuned to slight shifts in the energies, emotions, and presence of others. And as wonderful as that is—because we’re very good at our jobs and taking care of the people in our lives—it can create an internal stress that’s not ours to carry.
That’s when empathy becomes our Kryptonite.
Helping others can feel good and very hard at the same time. We’re so attuned to other’s needs. We end up giving and giving, and that primes us for burnout. And if we’re a highly sensitive empath, getting burnt out is an even greater possibility.
We want to help—that’s why we’ve chosen our career path, or we’ve become the go-to person for family, friends and coworkers. We know, we really know what it’s like to struggle and we want to give others the chance to feel better. And because we want to help, it’s hard to say no.
I’ve worked with lots of other helpers. Unfortunately, they usually come to me for help because they can’t keep going at the same pace—saying yes more often than no and with little to no time to take care of themselves—it’s no longer sustainable.
You probably know you need to change, but making changes feels really hard because:
saying “no” makes you feel guilty or ashamed
people might get angry or frustrated with you
it feels selfish to put your needs ahead of others
you worry that some people in your life will fall away. And for a helper, healer, intuitive empath—that feels like poison.
And as hard as it is—and as hard as it might be to imagine—when you begin to set boundaries and take care of your needs, you start to feel better.
Is there some discomfort in doing things differently? Sure! And it’s worth it.
Are there still moments of guilt? Yes! But the gift of taking care of yourself and listening to what you need lessens those feelings.
Caring for others while you actively take care of yourself puts the Kryptonite in its lead box, where it can’t suck your energy and your power anymore!
Okay, maybe you’ll still overgive from time to time, but now you know the antidote.
When you’ve filled your cup, you have enough to give to your clients, coworkers, family, and friends. And anyone else who needs taking care of.
AND while you’re gladly giving to others—because that’s your superpower— you no longer feel depleted, exhausted, and burned-out.
Ready to start harnessing your superpowers? Let’s set up a call!
Elizabeth Cush is a women’s life coach, a therapist, and the creator and host of the Woman Worriers and Awaken Your Wise Woman podcasts. She’s also the founder of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and has been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps women reduce stress and anxiety and live with more authenticity, ease and purpose. Click here if you'd like to know more about working with Elizabeth.