This essay was originally published in my January 2025 newsletter.

I tend to be most at ease when I’m at home. And I hate to admit it but when I’m home with Tom and Elvis (husband and dog respectively) I don’t often wish for more company.

And as much as that’s true, I have a deep need for community, to be in the company of my people. Those who get me, who see me, who are easy to be with.

As a highly sensitive introvert I realize that I must be the spark, the connector, the impetus, to build and sustain community. Because it’s too easy to hang out with my dog!

Over the last year I’ve been thinking and acting on this idea that I need to be the attractor —that word came up recently in the NYTimes Spelling Bee game.  To keep with the metaphor of bees, I’m the pollinator, or maybe the queen bee. But being an introvert, it’s hard to show up like a brightly colored flower or exert the power of the regal queen bee.

As with any new thing my road to building community has been trial and error. But slowly my community is growing here in Delaware, where I moved full time a year ago.

Here are some things that have worked for me:

Reaching out to colleagues. I’ve met some amazing women, who have then passed along other women I should get to know.

Joining an in-person meditation group. The group is filled with like-minded men and women who want to find connection. We share, gather, and meditate together. It’s been good for my soul.

Connecting with my neighbors. We live in a quiet community so when I get the chance, I make sure to stop and say hello.

Here are some things I’d like to do, or do more of in 2025:

Attend a yoga class regularly

Follow-up with the people I meet for coffee, a walk, a conversation

Find a book group

Regularly host a meet-up for HS females on Zoom

I’d love to hear how you build and sustain your community. The women who get you, who see you, who care about you.

If you’d like to grow community with like-minded souls join me on March 14th!