Aging with Grace and Kindness
Aging with kindness | photo by @lgnwvr—unsplash
How do you feel about your aging body?
I struggle with lots of things about my body, especially as I age. What’s been bothering me lately is how my skin continues to change. My face, arms legs, belly, all look like my grandmother’s did when I was a kid. Wrinkled, speckled, stretch marked, and loose.
I have a clear memory of running my hand along my grandmother’s arm and telling her how soft her skin was. I can see the loose flesh, the age spots and the crêpey skin, as if she was right here in front of me. I saw her skin with a child’s eyes—no judgment, or stories about why her skin was different than mine. It was beautiful to me because I loved her.
The memory of my grandmother made me wonder if I could bring that same childlike wonder to my own body and the skin that holds it together.
Imagine being able to accept that your body is just where it’s meant to be. And aging isn’t a judgement or failure.
How would that shift your relationship with you, your body, your skin, the aches, and pains?
That like a rusty bike, your body might need a rub down, a little grease to ease the squeaks. Maybe it’s ready to do less racing and more coasting.
I try to remember that my body has carried me through 62 years of living. And done a very good job of it! Safely carrying and delivering three babies, packing and moving homes multiple times, plenty of jobs where I was on my feet a lot. Carrying trays of food while waiting tables, hiking and exercising, dancing, carrying my babies, and walking— so may walks!
Our body also stores the wisdom of a lifetime of experiences. The joys and sorrows, laughter and tears, the pleasures and the pains—all of it. And that’s something to remember.
Maybe we can try to bring a child’s eyes into the New Year and see our bodies with the wonder and appreciation they deserve.
We’re definitely not taught to honor our aging bodies, or treat them with kindness and respect, or acknowledge their limitations with compassion as we grow old. So, I’m offering a few practices—that I’m practicing too—to bring more body kindness into 2023:
Remember, you don’t have to love/like everything about your body.
When you look at your naked or clothed body in the mirror, notice your critical self-talk.
See if you can begin to shift the critical self-talk to a compassionate voice, “I notice I don’t like those age spots, and I know they’re a normal part of aging.”
If you have recurring pain, instead of pushing though, ask yourself what you need.
When you’re exhausted take time to rest, and remind yourself that this is self-care.
Each day, be grateful for one thing your body has done for you.
If you’d like more insight for aging mindfully, here are a few more resources:
Elizabeth Cush is a women’s life coach, a therapist, and the creator and host of the Woman Worriers and Awaken Your Wise Woman podcasts. She’s also the founder of Progression Counseling in Annapolis, Md and has been featured in these major publications. Elizabeth helps women reduce stress and anxiety and live with more authenticity, ease and purpose. Click here if you'd like to know more about working with Elizabeth.